Thursday, May 14, 2015

Supporting a sick loved one

As a Naturopathic Doctor I often have people come in with their partner, children or parents. This brings up the question of how should someone support a loved one who is sick?

Certainly it's not good to just sit by while practitioners have their way. Perhaps the practitioner is wrong, or wants to do something dangerous. There may be a time to speak up and intervene. But also, if you do not know as much as the practitioner, how are you going to be sure?

Of course, from a practitioner point of view it's best for the patient and everyone in his/her life to be totally supportive of the work you're doing.

I don't think there are absolute answers, but here are some thoughts.

1) It's not about you, it's about them.

I've seen instances where a spouse come in with their own ideas of how their partner should be treated. Either they go online and come up with a plan, or just think they know what's best.

It's great to do your own research, be informed and ask questions.

However, from the perspective a Naturopathic doctor, if you're going to do that and self treat (or then treat someone else), then just do that. Don't come in to see me and argue that you have a better plan, or that the kinesiology I do in office doesn't work, or homeopathic doesn't work, or the "functional lab tests," which you ordered yourself has to have the answers.

These are all scenarios which I have gone through. Ironically in these situations the interfering partner has previously sat by and did nothing (or encouraged) the use of psychiatric medications, abuse of antibiotics, and steroid medications with no objections.

Yet this same person now objects when treatments which are far safer by any measure are suggested.

If you're objection is against natural health, then maybe it's best to not come in with your loved one as they see a Naturopathic doctor.

The worst part of this, is at times supposed partners seem more interested in pursing their own agenda (that they know it all and have the answers) then getting help for someone they love.

Also, if you're married to an adult - they should be able to make their own choices. If you're there dictating to them, then maybe there is something else wrong.

2) Parents with children who have "Psychiatric" problems.

I have seen instances of parents doing everything they can do to railroad their adult children into psychiatric treatment. And I don't means taking 1 psych drug and seeing a psychiatrist. I mean into a state of permanent psychiatric diagnosis, treatment and disability.

In these instance I personally blame the parents for their mistakes in fucking up their children. For abusing them as children. For bullying them into taking psychiatric drugs. For not admitting their mistakes.

No, not everyone with so called "mental illness." This isn't everyone. Just the people I've seen with parents obsessed with seeing their child as immersed in psychiatry as possible.

Unfortunately what happens is psychiatric drugs being what they are (powerful nervous system toxins) can have serous effects.

When an adult is not able to work due to illness and has a psychiatric label, they may be stuck at home with parents who have a psychiatric agenda. In such situations the patient may simply not have the financial, or emotional means to pursue health.

Someone who may take a psychiatric drug for depression or anxiety and have a bad reaction can wind  up essentially being psychiatrically disabled. What this person needs is unconditional love and support from loved ones, and help to get needed help. Unfortunately parents may be either blind believers in psychiatry, or have a strong personal motive to believe their child has a "mental illness" and this means leveraging financial support towards only psychiatry (or just emotionally abusing someone towards it).

3) If a practitioner is doing something dangerous, say something. If a practitioner is doing something you don't understand but your loved one believes in it - support them. Giving your loved one the support they need as they seek out proper care is your job.

4) If you love someone - make their health a priority.

This could be your money, your time, or your attention. Give it to them.

An example of this. One of the sickest people I've ever seen, do to her problem I couldn't do kinesiology testing on her for more than 5 minutes due to excruciating pain. When I told her to come back a specific day so that I can see her with a surrogate muscle testing, her husband objected that they had a wedding to go to. So someone's wife is is extreme pain every day for over 1 years (plus more problems then I care to list) and you don't object to my plan, but prioritize a wedding?

Often the best cases of recovery from illness are in people who have some sort of support system. In these cases the work I have done would have been impossible without them.

But then I have had cases where the supposed support system works to sabotage the health of spouse or children.

1 comment:


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